It Was All a Movie
by AttackOnTerribleFanfiction
Summary: And alternate ending to the last episode of Death Note. Failed Fanfiction. This is a joke, complete randomness, and yet, still a more satisfying ending than the one we were given. Don't read this.


"How long has it been since you wrote down the first name?"

"37 seconds. 38. 39!"

"Well Near, looks like I've won."

Silence...

Suddenly, streamers and balloons rain down from above as cheers and sirens erupt, eliminating the once quiet of the room.

"Wh-Wha?" I stutter out in confusion. What the hell's going on? We didn't die?

"What's going on!?" I hear one of my team members yell in angered confusion. This relieves me because I don't usually like to yell, but I want to know what the hell just happened too.

"Just kidding!" Light screams with an uncharacteristic smile on his face, his voice transforming into more of that of an announcer. "Actually, it's you who's won, Near...Won the brand new Prius Convertible!"

"What the fuck are you talking about Light!?"

Light just laughs, however, not even bothering to explain any of this. After a moment, I become aware of the bright lights around us, and it seems that everybody else notices too, because we all simultaneously look up at the bright show lights hanging from the ceiling. Out of a shadow from the side of the warehouse, a giant, shiny camera appears.

"Great, great! That was all perfect!" We look to our right and see a man walk out of another shadow, a handheld megaphone in hand, a beret on his head. A...director?

He strides over to our suspected Kira and brings him into a half hug. "Light, Light, Light!" He exclaims, smiling broad. "That was perfect! I loved the final scene. This will make the perfect movie!"

"MOVIE!?" We all exclaim at once.

"Wha-yes of course! The...movie. You know, the one you all have been acting in for the past 6 years..." The man has realization flash across his face as he calls out to a woman across the room.

"Mika!" He yells. "Did you forget to tell everyone about the movie?"

"Ohhh, yeah that...I kinda sorta forgot..."

"Okay, well this was a movie, and you all did fantastic! I knew that letting you all improvise on this would make it all work out." He says as if us having no idea that this was all a set was no big deal at all. "And Lawliet and Light's acting of course moved this along nicely."

"Wait-" I say in confusion. "Lawliet? Who's that?"

"Ah I see. You don't know his real name do you? Maybe you would recognise him by the name Ryuzaki."

"L!?" We all exclaim once again.

"No way!" I yell joyfully. "Ryuzaki is alive?! This is great!"

"Hey wait a second!" I turn to Near at the sound of his voice. "You think that it's okay that you made us think that there was a real Kira out there for the past _six years _and it to all have been for some stupid movie that we didn't even know about!?"

"Um yeah, that's right." The director says with a shrug. "Of course if you don't want to be in the movie I'm sure we could cut you out..."

"Hey wait!" I say. "I want to be in the movie!"

"Great. You're already in." He says. "Except there's one thing..."

"Uh oh what is it?" I ask worriedly.

"Well we need one final scene for you to be in."

"Just tell me what I have to do and I'll do it."

* * *

><p>"Aaand...ACTION!"<p>

* * *

><p>"Oh Light," I say passionately, the 'rain' falling around us. "You know I love you more than the whole world around us."<p>

"But Matsuda..." Light says, turning his head away slightly. "I'll never be good enough for you. You deserve better. Just leave me here in the cold rain to die."

Tears in my eyes, I lift his chin up, my eyes meeting his. "Light-Kun." I say. "You are the most beautiful maiden I have ever laid my eyes on. It is I who doesn't deserve you."

Leaning closer, I can't help but eye his pale lips before mine close around them. I can feel him tense up next to me for a moment before syncing into the kiss, his lips moving against mine. My heart rate speeds up as the beauty before me puts more passion into it than I knew to be possible, turning me on immensely. Becoming more and more unlike myself, I pull him roughly closer to me, shoving my tongue into his mouth resulting in a gasp, but he doesn't break away. Taking this as a yes, I pick him up by the back of his legs, not daring to end the kiss yet, and shove him onto the couch right near us, landing with me on top of him, our lips still together.

His eyes snap open in surprise and confusion. I can hear confused whispers from our team from the side of the stage, but I tune them out, succombing to the animal within myself. This was not part of the script.

I forcefully grind my pelvis against his, feeling my erection grow with each passing second.

"Matsuda?" Light asks confused, but I can tell by the rock underneath me and the slight moan emitting from his lips that he's liking this just as much as I am.

My breath turns ragged as I gasp for breath through my teeth.

Suddenly, I get a great thought.

Slowly, I reach into my back pocket until I find the small square I'm looking for. With a sly smirk I present the packet and Light's eyes widen with pleasure as he sees what it is and what I'm planning on using it for.

I jump up from the couch, and grab his arm, pulling him up so that we're only mere millimeters apart.

"Let's go somewhere private." I whisper roughly, pulling him behind, ignoring the gawking from the other people in the room. We run across the room until we make it to a small room, most likely to be used as a closet, only it is completely empty. Perfect.

I shove him into the dark room, me following suit, slamming the door behind us. After a second in the dark, I pounce on his figure, tackling and pinning him to the floor.

"wait." I stiffen at the word, immediately stopping what I'm doing. Though it takes all of my willpower to not go crazy right now, I know that when someone in his position says to wait, or to stop, you listen because they're in charge. _Wait, what if he doesn't want this? What if this is rape for him_, I worry. I'm about to apologize and force myself off of him when I see his slight blush through the strain of the dark.

"Well it's just..." He starts, looking away embarrassed. I raise an eyebrow, but wait for him to continue. "You see...I'm just wondering...Who's going to be the inserter?" He asks in such a small voice I almost didn't hear. _Who's going to be the inserter..?_

"I think you already know." I whisper seductively next to his ear, making him shiver in such a sexy way, I have to hold back cumming right then and there. I want to make this perfect for the both of us.

Not even bothering to contain myself, I rip his shirt off in one fluid motion. _Let's do this._

* * *

><p><em>Hmm... They sure have been in that closet for a while...<em>

"MMMM MATSUDA YES YES YES!"

Slowly, we all look at each other in reaction to the load moaning screams coming from the closet.

Suddenly, realization dawn on me. _Wait a minute... Are they?_

"O-OH R-RIGHT THERE. HIT IT AGAIN...OHHHHH"

I blush at the sounds coming from the closed door.

Suddenly, Near stands up and strides to the door, a look of jealousy in his eyes.

Ripping the door open, he gasps at what he sees before closing the door slowly behind him and walking out of the room.

_If what's going on in there is what I think it is..._

_GAH. Stupid Matsuda! You idiot! I thought...I thought that he loved me..._

Taking my gun, I briskly walk over to the pack of explosives I had hid behind a crate just in case I would need to use it on Kira.

Picking up the grenade, I ignore the protests of my fellow team members as I pull the thing and throw it across the room towards the closet.

Boom.

The end.


End file.
